


she was marble.

by orphan_account



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, bc mcu clint is trash, jeremy renner can go fuck himself, not mcu clint though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:22:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22010260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "You'll break them.""Only the breakable ones. You are made of marble."
Relationships: Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov
Kudos: 13





	she was marble.

**Author's Note:**

> possibly a slight tw , nat's having an anxiety attack. the attack itself isn't described in too much detail but i thought i should mention it just in case :)

"You are made of marble."

She could hear the familiar voice again, cutting deep into her mind, taking a jagged knife and drawing scars into her soul. If she let herself slip away, it was almost as if she was back. Almost as if she could feel the fear and pain, or worse, the hopelessness. Knowing she was trapped with no way out.

She remembered the blood, remembered fighting; for herself, for others, for nothing more than to feel seen, to feel like she had a worth. She remembered taking a gun, pressing it to a man's head and pulling the trigger as if it were nothing. ~~It _was_ nothing~~, they told her. She remembered the dance of death, again and again, becoming unbreakable. ~~She was marble~~ , they told her, beautiful and unbreakable. Calm. Emotionless. 

She remembered her dreams, of a life free from her cage, a life full of happiness and hope. Love and laughter. She had been beaten, each scar a reminder that she was not cut out for that. She was cut out for lies and death, and no matter how far from her past she was, she could never escape the simple fact that _she was what they made her_. She was beautiful, deadly, unbreakable. She was nothing. She was nobody. She had no place in the world. She was marble.

Natasha jolted awake. She could hear her ragged breathing, feel the sweat soaking her sheets. She rubbed her fingertips on her wrist, something she'd done since she'd escaped the Red Room. She felt the phantom chains keeping her confined to her bed back in Russia. She felt the chains, and suddenly she was back again, back in the crowded room full of broken girls, imperfect soldiers. She felt tears streaking down her face, almost like knives drawing blood. She felt her lungs heaving for air, burning with each breath. She felt like she was suffocating, like she was drowning. And then she was screaming, crying out for help so that someone, anyone would hear. 

She heard the door creak open, and she tensed up, clenched her fists, ready to fight. By now, this was a reflex. 

"Dreams?" 

She nodded and let down her guard, taking in deep breaths. It was just Clint, she told herself. She was okay. 

"Russia?"

She nodded again. He put his arms around her, and she sank into his embrace. There and then, she felt like she was someone, like she had some worth, a place in the world. She felt like maybe her dreams hadn't been as far off as she'd thought. 

"Hey," Clint whispered in a low voice, cupping her face with one hand and wiping away her tears, " you're okay. You're safe. You're Natasha freakin' Romanoff. You're strong, and graceful, and terrifying. "

"Terrifying?" she asked, looking up at him, a small, sad smile playing across her lips. 

"Oh, yeah. You kick my ass on a daily basis."

Despite everything, she laughed. "True."

For a moment, Natasha stared down at her fingers intertwined in his, and she was at peace. She heard both their hearts beat in perfect synchronization. Despite everything, she smiled. 

They had been right. She was marble. She was beautiful, and strong, and calm. _But she wasn't unbreakable_. 


End file.
